What do I want to DO with my life?
As I’ve launched my coaching practice, I’ve been reflecting on the question: Who do I most love to support? When I am asked this question, I reflect on a trend I’ve noticed with colleagues and friends over the last several years. Many of us have experienced this “moment”— we’ve come to a point of wondering: “What do I want to DO with my life? Is THIS what I want to be doing?”
I entered the job market during the Great Recession. The outlook was bleak. I was so grateful to find a job that aligned with my interests that I made it my purpose. I dove headlong into work and did not look up for several years.
In those first few years I learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses. I discovered aspects of my job I loved, and I discovered aspects that some might describe as “soul sucking.” Opportunities popped up and I took them without much reflection. I continued on this path for several years, putting my whole self into work because it felt like what I was supposed to be doing.
And then I burned out, hard. I did not make space for other things that were important to me. I had said yes to opportunities in my career that did not feel authentic to the person I aspired to be. I didn't even know who I was aspiring to be, but I knew “this is not it.”
I spent several years asking myself, “what do I want to do with my life?” I took some time to reflect again on the aspects of my work I loved to do and those I wanted to avoid. I picked up several new hobbies. I became more intentional about where I put my attention and my energy.
Sometimes the opportunity to reflect comes after burnout, but it can also happen after big life changes: a sudden illness, a new family member, or even after a great vacation. And indeed, external circumstances can prompt reflection as well: global pandemics, recessions, layoffs or restructuring, etc. Whatever the circumstances, the symptoms can be similar.
Symptoms of “what do I want to DO with my life?”
Mindlessly scrolling job postings
Applying to jobs you don’t actually want
Daydreaming about making your side hustle your full time job
Asking your friends “what do you think I should be doing?”
Feeling like you need a change, but you don’t yet have a vision for what’s next
Sometimes the result of our “what do I want to DO?” reflection is a job search for something more aligned, but seeking a new job or even a new career is not possible for everyone. Circumstances may require the stability of your current income or benefits, but this doesn’t mean you can’t also pause for reflection on what you want to be doing. Perhaps you come out of it with a fresh sense of your current work and how it connects to your vision for your life. This can bring new meaning to your contributions and allow you to show up with greater purpose.
I love to support folks going through this particular moment in their career. Through coaching, we explore:
What is most important to you?
What is your vision for your life?
On what do you want to focus your attention and energy?
What are your values, skills, and desires?
What little steps will get you closer to your goals?
What kind of work would be meaningful and fulfilling for you?
What do you most love to do?
How does your current situation align with/ not align with your vision for your life?
For several years, I sought answers to these big questions from outside myself, when what I really needed was support and partnership to seek the answers within myself. The result helped me take action with more clarity, focus, ease, and grace and it led me to coaching.
What do you think? Have you gone through this experience? I’d love to hear your reaction.